Y’all… maybe it’s the depression, tbh idgaf what a colonial psychiatric institution says about me (#undiagnosed). And to all my kind friends who are telling me to go on drugs to feel better… I’d rather die before an SSRI further kills my horniness.

People are not having that much sex and people are definitely not making love.

Now I’m not saying this is outright bad. People don’t need to be fucking if they don’t want to.

And why would you want to right now?! Everyone is being raped by capitalism (to varying degrees) and shit is not funny. The people in power are sadistic necropedophiliacs who deserve to be hung upside down and beat in the town square like we did to Mussolini (love my people).

We have inherited a nation founded on an economy of sexual slavery and mass rape. Of course intimacy on this land is fraught.

I’ve noticed that most people having sex are doing so to escape from themselves or their material reality. Me included. That’s the main experience I’ve had with sex until my last relationship (and still then, it was very confusing). Self-escapism + sex is inherently dehumanizing. Sex is no longer about two present beings meeting themselves in intimacy but it’s about mutually escaping one’s own body.

I’ve noticed that people who aren’t having sex are petrified of their own sexual desires (unless they’re on the ace spectrum, shoutout!). I’ve noticed it in myself more recently.

Look, there is a real possibility that more people are on the ace spectrum than we think. I’m not here to shame, explore yourself and never feel rushed!

Thinking structurally though… most of the Yale people (especially cis men) who are going to become the “leaders of tomorrow” have very few socioemotional skills. And like duh. They’re trying to access the halls of power that have been dominated by the sadistic necropedophiliacs… if they had communal socioemotional skills they would not be interested in accessing the power!

I just get scared. I feel like the options here are; abstinence, scheduling your hookups on gcal, getting drunk and hooking up and then never talking about it. No shade but I am observant…

I get it though, I get it. There’s probably microplastics in my clit and that’s why I don’t want to masturbate during ovulaysh. Or maybe it has to do with the multiple assaults to my sexual agency before I was old enough to even name it. Or maybe it’s the history of Spanish colonial rape. What can you do?

I know I can talk about it, or write about it so here ya go.